Thursday, December 5, 2013

7 Criticisms of the Star Wars Prequels (And Why They're Total B.S.)

I love Star Wars. It was a huge part of my childhood and I've continued to be a fan of the franchise in all its forms. And when I say "Star Wars", I mean the whole series. Not just the original three but the prequel trilogy, as well.

It's at this point that people scoff and question my taste in movies. I really wish I understood why, because very rarely do they even come up with a reason as to why they don't like them. On that rare occasion that someone does, I can't help but roll my eyes at what they consider to make the prequels "bad". In the years that I've come across these people, there seems to be a consistent list of criticisms. Roughly around seven. Let me be frank when I say that these criticisms are crap and, more often than not, aren't particularly consistent or well-thought.

Here I will spend this entry deconstructing each of the top seven and explain why they're unfounded.

#1 "They're just a special effects show."

This is an absurd thing to say when you consider that the original trilogy was renowned for pushing the envelope of visual effects and setting the standards for what we appreciate on screen, Star Wars or not. It should also be noted that while the prequels were praised for their visuals, they were eclipsed by other films at the time. The Matrix beat out The Phantom Menace for Best Visual Effects at the Academy Awards.

I think the real criticism here is that George Lucas has chosen CGI to bring his visuals to the screen. Going back to the original films advancement of special effects, these were the best things available. Lucas used the best effects at the time and he used the best effects for the prequels. He was never pleased with the cantina aliens in 1977, thinking them fake and clumsy-looking. It's totally justified for him wanting to use technology that best represents what he wants on film.

#2 "The acting is terrible."

Before I start, I want you to see these first:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcbbnHHDpTg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X66jntR0MVE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwvnRneMHiY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wntX-a3jSY

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSjP2GBTr9U (Around 3:33 to the end)

I'm sure I could find more, but I think I've made my point. There's a trend here. The Star Wars films are George Lucas's love letter to the science fiction and fantasy films and stories of his childhood. Stuff like Flash Gordon, Buck Rogers, and John Carter of Mars. These shared an over-the-top, almost theatrical style of acting. The score by John Williams punctuates the action with its operatic orchestration.

I'm not about to defend Jake Lloyd or the "Star Destroyer Guy" (Hobbie Klivian is his in-universe name, FYI). That acting is clearly bad. But look at the films of Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen and you can see that they're both competent actors. Watch American Graffiti or THX-1138, both films of Lucas's, and you can note that the acting is not stilted and more naturalistic in its delivery.

You could argue that the performances of the original trilogy, for all their flamboyance, are much more understated. And I agree with that. But I also think that as a stylistic choice it makes sense for the acting of the prequels to be larger than life. The overall story is Faustian and a more theatrical approach seems appropriate.

#3 "They're too self-referential."

Too self-referential? Have you ever even seen Return of the Jedi? Let's see how many things it re-hashes from Star Wars:

Dramatic arrival with Darth Vader having a conversation that more-or-less introduces the driving force of the plot? Check.
The droids walking through the deserts of Tatooine? Check.
Room full of colorful aliens? Check.
Family talk with Obi-Wan? Check.
Death Star? Check.
Battle plan with computer image of Death Star? Check.
Lush, green planet?
Cute little aliens? Check.
Hero choosing not to fight Vader? Check.

I rest my case.

#4 "The writing is clunky."

This kind of goes back to what I said on the subject of acting. It's space opera. It needs to be melodramatic. If you've ever seen Romeo and Juliet, on-stage or not, you'll probably find the lines to be overly flowery and not particularly realistic. I'm not equating Lucas's writing ability with the Bard's, but things need to be taken in proper context.

#5 "Jar Jar Binks makes me crazy."

Congratulations. The character accomplished what he was written for. He does the exact same thing to the characters around him. He's supposed to be obnoxious.  He's not Wesley Crusher from Star Trek: The Next Generation where the character should be likeable but instead makes you want to push him out an airlock. Jar Jar Binks is a character that appeals to children, as he's meant to. Star Wars is for kids, first and foremost. C-3PO is an obnoxious character, too, but he also serves a purpose.

And for crying out loud, he's only a major character in one film. Take a trip to Hoth and chill out.

#6 "Midi-chlorians are stupid."

I can see where people might find that this concept sort of undermines the mystique of the Force, but its presence is marginal. The Force is regarded as an "energy field", which sounds sort of scientific, so it's not without precedent. It should also be noted that George Lucas had the idea of midi-chlorians as far back as 1977, using it in his guidelines for authors hired to expand on his films. 

#7 "There's too much politics."

I've been hearing this one a lot as of late. Being something for kids, you'd think that this sort of stuff wouldn't be highlighted so much. I do feel that The Phantom Menace slows to a crawl once they're on Coruscant, but the politics are an important part to showing Palpatine's rise to power. It could've been handled better, perhaps, but I don't think taking it out entirely would've made for nearly as interesting a plot or even the Palpatine character.



So here we are at the end of our journey. The prequels aren't perfect but they're not any sort of travesty. They're solid films in their own right and should be given their due. They didn't ruin the films, they enhanced them. It added new layers and themes to appreciate and gave us another reason to have a marathon while quoting along with the films and pretending you have a lightsaber. Most importantly, it gave another generation of kids something to call their own. And really that's all that matters.












Friday, June 28, 2013

Where games are going or: I want another NES



I think the gaming industry is in for another market crash in the vein of 1983's. I've lived through and enjoyed four of the (as of now) eight generations of video games and I still have yet to find a system that I play more than the NES. Each successive generation has boasted better technology but increasingly shorter life spans. The NES was released in the US in 1985 and discontinued in 1995. In Japan it was in retail from 1983 and finally discontinued in 2003. Yes, you read that right. So the system's shelf life was 10-20 years. I think it's a testament to how well-made the games were and are even with the limitations in technology at the time.

Compare this with the Playstation 3, which has approximately 772 games in its library as of January 2013. It's the most expensive console of its generation ($499 on its release in the US) and yet has the least amount of games exclusive to its technology. Eight console exclusives, according to my research. Does that make the PS3 a bad system? No, I don't think so. It's a well-made console and I enjoy playing on it. But Sony is not even making use of the great tech that they're gushing about having. They could be making so many great games but what are they doing? What is Microsoft doing? They're giving us consoles where we can play Blu-Ray discs and watch cable television. Wait, these are GAMING consoles, right? For all the gimmick crap Nintendo has been putting out with the Wii and Wii U, at least it's an attempt toward advancing the gaming industry and not being tangential to it.

When the NES arrived on the US scene in 1985, nobody wanted to sell video games anymore. The market had become oversaturated by system after system with smaller and smaller libraries of games (mostly ports) that were failing to the arcades and computer market. Nintendo of America made the shrewd decision to market it as an "entertainment system", which convinced toy stores and the like to carry the console and sell it. And by 1987 this paid off. Now what did they do exactly?

For one, they recognized the potential of third party support. But they also tightly regulated it. They could've easily relied on these other companies to bring the money in. They had no real competition either. Sega's Master System suffered from terrible advertising and a lack of the aforementioned third party support (Nintendo keeping most of those in their pocket contractually). They had the lion's share of the market but they knew what they had in front of them. They saw the potential and actualized it. Many times they PUSHED the limits of the console.  This brings me to my next point.

A lot of Nintendo's critics tend to point toward a constant reliance on their established franchises without really considering why. The most obvious reason is name recognition. In the 90s, more children could identify a picture of Mario than Mickey Mouse. Another reason... they're good games. Can you think of an absolutely awful Zelda game? (And no, the CD-i games don't count because it's not Nintendo) How about Metroid? Super Smash Bros.? Yeah, neither can I. So if they're great games then it gives them a good name and the cycle perpetuates. They can try new and innovative ideas for a game and still be able to sell and expose it if they put Mario's face on it. It's good business sense.  I doubt we would be talking about the merits and game play of Doki Doki Panic if it had never been localized into Super Mario Bros. 2.

Maybe I’m jumping at shadows here. But I really like having a system that is constantly being pushed to its limits and has an ambitious company behind it that wants to re-invent and revitalize and believes in its product.  And what I am seeing right now is an industry that’s hit a plateau with where it can take gaming and gives up far too quickly and settles by supplementing with stuff we already have.  

I’m going to play my NES now.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Why Continuity is Important

Those that talk to me about various franchises in fiction will more than likely be aware that I am very much an adherent toward maintaining a continuity and/or canon. It's part of being a nerd, I suppose... caring passionately about something that does not provide food, water, clothing, or shelter. In the words of outsiders and critics: useless knowledge.

But this blog entry is not about defending nerdism. What it is about is how the most recent reaction to continuity within fiction seems to be largely negative and against it. I recently read an article that tries to make a case for keeping loose continuity within the various film franchises.


Please read this article before continuing.


http://www.ign.com/articles/2012/10/26/hero-worship-the-007-approach-to-continuity


Joey Esposito's comment "that continuity is rarely anything more than a distraction from good storytelling" is quite a load of bollocks, as far as I'm concerned. But first things first.


Contrary to what many might perceive at first glance, the Bond films have a fairly strong continuity within themselves. References to his dead wife, an on-and-off girlfriend, villains, etc. The changing of an actor or maintaing the age of a character who has been around since 1953 is hardly a strong case for discarded continuity. It's no different than hiring a different artist to draw a character or modifying subtitles to a foreign film to allow for relevance to the foreign viewer's culture. It keeps the ball rolling.


That aside, I'll begin making my case for the importance of continuity. 


Reason No. 1... It keeps you caring about the characters


If you are reading or watching a succession of material around a character, it won't mean much if the character dies in one story and then comes back without explanation or reference. With no point of reference to build from, you can't grow to appreciate the character and the character can't really grow, either. 


Reason No. 2... It allows for thematic cohesion


This might not necessarily mean much to everyone, but it appeals to my sensibilities. 


I will give you the Terminator franchise as an example. The first film in the series presents time travel as a means to change the future. That is, the future is not set in stone and can be changed. At the end of the film there is a little twist that presents the possibility that maybe the future can't be changed. 


Terminator 2: Judgment Day continues on the "No Fate" theme by having the heroes destroy the means to create the villains and prevent a nuclear war from ever happening, yet still maintains an ending of ambiguous nature. 


Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines more or less throws the "No Fate" theme out the window. While the date of the nuclear war has changed, the heroes are unable to stop the machines from taking over. Story-wise, the future has changed. Where theme is concerned, the change is drastic and clashes with the ideas presented in its predecessors. 


The Alien series is the same way. The first two films have a theme of survival; that when you're in a hopeless situation you can find the strength within yourself and persevere over the dominant life-form, i.e. the alien. Alien 3 arrives and the producers say, "Screw this! Let's kill off all the interesting characters, replace them with bland characters, and try to justify it creatively all in the name of art!" It's made even worse by the fact that Alien Resurrection brings Ellen Ripley back as a clone. So even Alien 3 gets the shaft! Oh well. It's the worst the series, anyway. 


Reason No. 3... Internal logic


I'm going to reference Alien 3 one more time. In the film's opening we see an alien egg in the cryo-chamber of the starship. The problem is that the alien queen from the previous film neither 1. stowed away with her egg sac and 2. never had time to go to where the cryo tubes are. It's like the producers didn't even care.


Another great example and an extremely blatant one is in Superman IV: The Quest for Peace. Early on in the film we see Superman rescue a group of cosmonauts from death. Fast forward to the final conflict between Superman and Nuclear Man. The villain takes a woman that he's sweet on up into space with him. Oh, and she's not wearing a spacesuit


Now there could have been some special power that Nuclear Man has that enables him to take her into a vacuum. Even a throwaway line that references such a power would've worked, but we're left scratching our heads at what we just saw. 


Reason No. 4... Aesthetic consistency


The Batman film series from 1989-1997 suffered from this considerably and it was one of many reasons that the franchise went into hibernation for eight years. 


Tim Burton, along with production designer Anton Furst, established a very distinctive aesthetic in Batman '89. Gotham City is a combination of art deco and expressionism, with a little touch of Syd Mead's "retrofitting" design on Blade Runner.


This style more-or-less continued on in Batman Returns. Bo Welch took over as production designer and made his own stylistic changes. The expressionist ideas from its predecessor took full precedence. Nevertheless, it never draws attention to itself unless you're going out of your way to look for it.


Then things took a turn for the worst. Joel Schumacher took over as director of the last two films and sealed the fate of a franchise that showed a promising future. From the colorful lights and neon face-painted street thugs to the over-the-top costumes, gadgets, and vehicles that screamed, "I'm a toy, buy me NOW!", it quickly became apparent that the mighty had fallen. 


Fortunately, Warner wised up and kept a focused vision for the series when Christopher Nolan relaunched the franchise in 2005 with Batman Begins


Postface


The proof is in the pudding, folks. I think it goes without saying that the film medium absolutely needs to keep strong continuity if they expect anyone to enjoy and, subsequently, pay for more to see. 


That Esposito guy is an idiot. 




-L. Travis Hoffman


Wednesday, January 9, 2013

What Happened to Film Scores?

John Williams. Jerry Goldsmith. Danny Elfman. John Barry. James Horner. What do these guys all have in common? They're film composers. But not only are they film composers, they're great film composers.

This blog entry isn't going to be about gushing on these guys but rather asking a question that has been on my mind for the last ten years: "What happened to film scores?" I mean, seriously, when exactly did the art hit a plateau and then sharply decline? Danny Elfman hasn't made a great score since the 90s with Sleepy Hollow, John Williams' output has declined in his older age, and James Horner... who knows where that guy is? With John Berry and Jerry Goldsmith dead, the three remaining guys are the greats that we have to rely on to deliver us great film music. Elfman's more recent work has reduced itself to being a generic caricature of himself. John Williams still manages to deliver solid material, but as I mentioned earlier, he's getting up there and not taking as many jobs.

The newer (or new-ish) guys don't seem to show much promise. I've yet to encounter anyone who says that their favorite film composer is Elliot Goldenthal or Hans Zimmer. You know why? Because they really aren't that great. Hans Zimmer's work on the Dark Knight Trilogy doesn't hold a match, much less a candle, to Danny Elfman's work on Batman and Batman Returns. The only people that I can think of that are potentially great film composers are Howard Shore and Michael Giacchino , but that still remains to be seen. It's depressing to think that there aren't any iconic, defining film scores and that we have to put our hopes into Hans Zimmer, the Nickleback of film composition, to fill this void!  Ugh... it's agonizing when I think about it.

So where does that leave us? We can't really influence Hollywood to stop hiring an established composer in favor of someone that has a fresh perspective but might be lacking in credentials. And we have no shortage of high-concept summer blockbusters to excuse the absence of grandiose and memorable music from being given to us. I watched a video of footage from Batman Begins put to Danny Elfman's score from Batman from 1989. And it's amazing. I'd pay for a copy of that film with Elfman's score in place of what's originally there.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVzXwZuWFaU

Do you notice a difference? There's a presence in the film instead of just being background noise to fill any moments where there would just be dead silence. And that, my friends, is what we need in today's cinema.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Let's Talk About Sequels

I can't help but laugh when I hear people rip on sequels. "Doesn't Hollywood have anything original anymore?" That's the most commonly heard complaint I come across; the loathing of sequels as well as remakes.

But the question is a ridiculous. Hollywood has never made anything original. Since feature films have existed you've had people plundering through every medium to find material to put on the screen. Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror was a thinly veiled (and illegal) adaptation of the novel Dracula. It was very much it's own thing and I don't really regard it as a Dracula film because the alterations and the implementing of new ideas are far more plentiful than the similarities. And it's regarded as one of the finest examples of early cinema.

To further cement my point, I'd like you to look at the first 30 movies on imdb's top 250 films. The link is here: http://www.imdb.com/chart/top

Go ahead. I'll wait.

Notice anything unusual? Almost all of them are adaptations or sequels. The ones that aren't are derivatives of other films.  Not only that, but they are primarily films that are widely enjoyed and have had good reactions from audiences. So sequels aren't as bad as the trolls online would like to believe.

Another myth I would like to put to bed is that financially successful and well-received sequels were unheard of until the last 10 years. WRONG!

I'll list off a few sequels that surpassed their predecessors.

Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (couldn't find the figures, but it was the most profitable movie that Hammer Films had ever released)

Moonraker- $210,300,000 (tenth sequel in the James Bond series)

Sudden Impact- $67,642,693 (fourth film and most successful in the Dirty Harry series)

Rambo: First Blood part II- $300,400,432

Aliens-  $131,060,248 (second film in Alien series)

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home- $133 million (most successful of the original 6 films)

A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master- $49,369,899

Terminator 2: Judgment Day- $519,843,345

None of these movies are particularly low-budget, particularly in relation to their preceding films. These made big bucks. The fact that they're "genre pictures" is irrelevant. Typically, those films are smaller in budget as each sequel is produced. If anything, that makes an argument for their high grosses. There are plenty of other movies I can add on here, but I think this says enough.

Consider how far back we're talking here. Dracula Has Risen From the Grave was released in 1968, more than several decades ago. And let's not forget that every James Bond sequel has surpassed the first installment, Dr. No, at the box office. That's starting from 1963 to the present. It's an absurd claim that surpassing lucrative sequels are, by any stretch of the imagination, a new phenomenon. These are expensive movies that made back their budgets and beyond. And most of them are cemented into the public consciousness.

Hey, as long as it's a good sequel, I say keep them coming and let them all be huge money-rakers. After all, there's been a set precedent in the industry to look to.

- L. Travis Hoffman

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Why Gamers Need to Chill Out

It drives me crazy. I feel like no one can just like a game for the sake of liking it. Nowadays you have to justify your enjoyment of a video game just so you won't get trolled on the gaming forums. Why does it need to have cutting-edge graphics? Why does the story have to be complex and engaging? Why is a multi-player feature a requirement for a game to be "good"?

When I was a kid, my love for video games was at an all-time high. If someone had a system at their house, I would be playing it. I constantly nagged about getting our NES hooked up just so I could play Super Mario Bros. or Legend of Zelda. My friend Nick had a treasure trove of games that we would play through repeatedly and cycle through them over the months.

And we loved them all.

We didn't need to understand all the mechanics and rules. We loved it because we were having fun. Isn't that the point of video games in the first place? To escape the world around you and to challenge your brain and hand-eye coordination instead of wasting your time playing sports with your neighbor across the street? I've come across people who vehemently despise a game for XY and Z reasons. Is your anger really worth directing toward a piece of plastic?

Sometimes I'll like a game just because it lets me play a favorite character. Batman and Friday the 13th for the NES aren't on any top 10 lists, but it didn't matter to me. I got to be Batman and see Jason throw axes at me.  People dumped on Tomorrow Never Dies for PSX because it wasn't Sony's GoldenEye. I still have a blast playing it. I got to be James Bond. That was enough.

When you're little you don't give any thought to the technical points of video games. Let's say the controls aren't particularly tight for an example. You'd just accept it for what is. It was like it was a part of the game, just like the number of lives you had or what abilities you were given. Looking back at Ghostbusters for the NES, it's absolute bullshit that you have to press B or A (can't remember which) repeatedly to move up 22 FLOORS of stairs while avoiding ghosts that attack. If you had bought the ghost protection suit, you could take nine hits before losing. If not, you had three hits until you die. Either way, you were up shit creek.

Here's a video of the game:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9c-0H4P2-E

Keep in mind that this guy is using a rapid-fire feature on his controller to move that fast. But my point is that my friends and I accepted it as part of the game. It was wall-punching hard, but our brains just told us to grow some balls and tough it out. And when you finally did beat the game it was that much more satisfying.

I won't say that there are games that I liked as a kid that I don't enjoy anymore. Friday the 13th is a terrible game. Ghostbusters was a much better game on the Master System. Batman for NES still kicks ass. But I'm not jaded. That's what separates me from the raging zealots that plague the internet. If I like a game, then I like it. I won't explain myself because the answer is self-explanatory.

I have fun.

Friday, December 7, 2012

The Future of Star Wars

Okay, so everyone knows by now about George Lucas selling his company to Disney and that the studio is working on a new Star Wars trilogy. Initially, I was horrified at the prospect of Walt Disney Pictures having my favorite series of films in their hands. For that brief moment of time, all I could see was the desecration of everything I loved about the franchise.

But then I snapped out of it.

Disney has been doing a *stang of a job with the Marvel properties, which was a purchase that I had also been apprehensive about at first. Fortunately, I've been proven wrong time and again. The studio's collaboration with Pixar has also proven to be fruitful as shown in their quality of cinematic output.

Much of the news being released has led this nerd to much hope and excitment. The possibility of the original trilogy's gang of heroes returning for another adventure is one. The hiring of series alum Lawrence Kasdan and Toy Story 3 writer Michael Arndt is another one.

"So what's the problem, Hoffman?" you ask.

No problems. More... speculations. That is, with respect to what this new direction will mean for the franchise. Possibilities.

I've narrowed it down to a small few that I feel are most important to me and that I think people would probably click with.

Possibility No. 1... The Original Trilogy un-altered and remastered

This was one of the first that popped into my head upon first hearing the news of Lucasfilm's purchase. George Lucas has been notoriously stiff-necked about bringing the first theatrical releases of the Original Trilogy to each successive video medium. It was only through the persistent outcry of fans that he finally relented and put them as a special feature on a DVD re-release. Even then it just came off as a half-hearted gesture, being mere transfers from LaserDiscs.

Certainly from an artistic standpoint I can understand why Lucas would prefer that his current touch-up be the "definitive" version of his magnum opus. He gets a lot of crap for this, but the practice is hardly a new one. Authors have been doing it long before Lucas ever had the technology available to him. "Second Edition" is merely the literary term for "Special Edition".

But Star Wars is an important part of cinematic history and pop culture. As such, it's evolution through the decades should be preserved for posterity's sake so that a deeper appreciation can be made for Lucas' vision for his stories.

With George Lucas no longer in control of such things (as far as we know, anyway), the probability of a proper, re-mastered release of the original theatrical versions of the trilogy has become a realistic expectation. If Disney is smart (and they are), they'll do just this. I'd buy it just so I can see a version of the cantina scene where Greedo doesn't shoot and miss Han Solo. Being able to see the "Yub Nub" ending of Return of the Jedi would be nice, too.

Possibility No. 2... The fate of the Expanded Universe

If there is one thing that has kept Star Wars in the public consciousness through the decades, it's the Expanded Universe (which from here on will be referred to in its abbreviated form, "EU"); new and original stories that take place before, during, and after the two trilogies.

Books and comics have played an integral part of the franchise from the very beginning. After a brief dry spell at the end of the 80s, Timothy Zahn's Thrawn Trilogy and Dark Horse Comics' Dark Empire brought down an avalanche of new material in the 1990s for us to all gobble down and enjoy.

Since then, we've been treated with two animated series depicting the Clone Wars and  the promise of an ever-in-progress live-action show taking place between Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope. We've been given a treasure trove in the last 30+ years and I'm sure that Disney will carry on this tradition and bring many more great stories. I do have some level of reservation, however.

I'm referring to the "C" word. The thing that can divide or unite a devoted fan base and always sparks discussion.

That word is named canon.

Continuity is something that is always, without fail, brought up within fan circles. "This story couldn't have happened," or "Shadows of the Empire explains the details between Episodes V and VI." Or you have the so-called "purists" (this is where I roll my eyes) who say that only the films are relevant.

It doesn't help that Lucas himself is inconsistent with his own views. He'll be saying that they don't fit in with his vision while also making use of characters and ideas from the EU as well as participating in their development in some capacity. If they don't matter, why would you waste your time approving or shooting down their ideas? Fortunately, Lucasfilm is much better at organizing everything together, even to the point of having a designated expert who's job is to smooth over any wrinkles in continuity and make the Star Wars universe a cohesive one.

At this point, however, the argument is a moot one. The films and EU have become so indelibly linked to one another that it's impossible to not accept their validity on at least some level, however small. But Disney might beg to differ with me on this one. The possibility of disregarding 30 years of established continuity is a potential headache I hope never to endure. And even if they decide to keep it within the canon, will their own products have the same level of cohesion that existed with the previous owner? Will they retain a keeper of continuity?

They say change can be a very scary thing and they're absolutely right. I love the EU. It's given Star Wars a much richer and elaborate universe to delve into and explore. Fans would hate to see it brushed aside in favor of something else. Here's hoping that Disney will take this into account.

Possibility No. 3... "Kid-ifying" the franchise

Let me be perfectly clear before I continue this section. Star Wars is meant for children. It isn't Alien or The Terminator. That doesn't mean it can't or isn't meant to appeal to older people as well, but it's important to realize who the target demographic is when you walk in. Having whimsical and cutesy things is totally appropriate for a series that is, for all intents and purposes, a fairy tale. Ewoks and Jar Jar Binks aren't bad. They fit perfectly in place. Get over it.

What I fear from Disney is that might take the whimsy and cuteness and go way overboard with it. I don't want a Donald Duck-themed Han Solo or a Big-Bad Pete version of Darth Vader. Let Star Wars alone. It doesn't need to have any outside properties bleed into it, with the possible exception of an Infinities comic book crossover with some of the Marvel characters.

And please, in the name of the Force, don't add any musical numbers to the new films. It didn't work for the Holiday Special and it's not gonna work here.

Possibility No. 4 Release the Unreleased

Speaking of the Holiday Special, we could maybe get a proper release of that as well as the full shows of the Ewoks and Droids cartoons. The latter two shows had a handful of episodes released on DVD, but we'd like to see everything. And the Holiday Special, while absolutely atrocious, should still be allowed for legal viewing other than the one TV airing it had in 1978. Everyone needs to know that Bea Arthur played a bartender in Mos Eisley. It's a moral imperative, people.

   I guess that's all I have to say. I'm beyond elated that I can experience Star Wars on the big screen and dress up at first showing and getting awkward stares. It's not anything out of the ordinary; and I get the bonus of being Luke Skywalker while it happens!


-L. Travis Hoffman




*For those who aren't in the know, "stang" is an expletive in the Star Wars universe.